


After All

by Amidala_Skywalker (Anne_Rackham)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker (2019), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternative Fight Scene On Exegol, Because That P-Jerk Deserved It, Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben and Rey Deserve Better, Ben and Rey Need Time to Heal, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Co-Generals, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Force Healing, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Gray Jedi Rey (Star Wars), Grief/Mourning, I was sad and needed this, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Not Really A Fix-It But A Fix It, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Romance, Serious Injuries, Slow Burn, Soulmates, TRoS Spoilers, What I Wanted To Happen During THAT Scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21889654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anne_Rackham/pseuds/Amidala_Skywalker
Summary: After the events on Exegol, Rey returns to Ajan Kloss with Ben Solo. After three days of healing, Ben awakens, and he is faced with many challenges while being a redeemed Jedi. With the Emperor Palpatine and the Final Order defeated, Rey faces her own inner challenges. With the help of each other, they will find the strength to pick themselves up and heal the galaxy together.Or, a blossoming romance between Ben and Rey, told in moments and days, as they begin to pick themselves up and heal the galaxy together.{Beware of TROS spoilers!}
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 102
Kudos: 404





	1. Day 0, Part I

**Author's Note:**

> If you have not seen Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, please turn around and come back later. I’ve given plenty of warnings in tags and my summary. 
> 
> This story picks up during the fight near the end of the movie. Most events are the same, but I added what I wanted to see happen. This story will go into the healing of Rey and Ben Solo and the days after the events. The rating will go up for later chapters.

He’s falling endlessly into nothing. He tries to fight the hold on his body as he falls, but he can’t. As soon as he hits the ground, searing pain shoots up his back and leg. It is hard for him to breathe, to think. To feel. He gasps for breath and tries his best to sit up. His chest and his lungs hurt after getting the wind knocked out of him. The darkness surrounds him, and the lightning in the sky doesn’t help him see. Ben knows he needs to get out of there and fast. Rey needs him. He manages to stand, groaning and mumbling curses as he does so. He can tell he broke something on his right side. Too much pressure sends agonizing pain to his ankle and foot.

He reaches out to Rey with the Force. He can tell she is still lying on the ground, unmoving. He needs to get out of here. _Climb,_ he tells himself as he limps his way to the abyss wall. Hand by hand he clutches the rocks and pulls himself up. The sharp rocks cut into his palms and fingers, and he can feel his blood wetting his hands. He ignores the pain in his right leg as he moves upward, but his right foot slips. He’s falling, but this time he has control of his body. He uses the Force and jumps, bringing his body upward. It exhausted him, but he’s driven to meet his goal. He’s closer than he was before. His body hurts, but he can’t give up.

_Just one more climb,_ he tells himself as his fingers grasp the edge of the rocks. He can see Rey and sense the Force surrounding her, guiding her, influencing her. He hears her voice inside his head. _Be with me._ He’s filled with a tingle of warmth. 

As soon as he reaches the top, he stops. He can feel the strength and guidance of the Force calling to her and to him. He closes his eyes and lets himself feel. _Be with me._

Then something changes. A surge of energy. “I have all the Jedi,” he hears her say, and he can feel them, too. _Luke. His mother. His grandfather. Others he doesn’t know but wants to._ His eyes open, and he watches her strike. He hears her familiar war cry as she blocks off the lightning. He’s nearly there, his body moving on its own. He’s running to catch up to her, to help her win this fight. To end the torment and torture of their families.

He reaches out to his lightsaber and catches it in his hand. It ignites, then he’s right there with her, fighting back Palpatine.

Lightsabers clash and sparks fly everywhere. Palpatine laughs, gathering the last of his strength. Ben and Rey move as one, gaining ground on Palpatine, step by step. The electricity is starting to destroy him. Ben can sense the power overwhelming the Sith Lord. They take one final step forward, and the lightning overtakes Palpatine. His body explodes into nothing, and the ceiling and stands explode and crash down around them.

Ben and Rey fall down to their knees, destruction falling around them. Their lightsabers hit the floor, damaged from their fight. Darkness surrounds them. Up above ships are falling from the sky and being destroyed. It is quiet. Both can sense the relief and restored balance in the Force.

Ben turns to look at Rey, then he feels the all too familiar loss of another soul.

_Rey._

Before he can react, he sees her collapse and fall to the ground. Ignoring the pain of his body, he embraces her with one hand and his other cradles the back of her head. Her skin is pale and turning cold. A tear rolls down his cheek as a million thoughts hit him. He places his hand on her abdomen as she did to him, and he blocks out the thoughts of _what if_ and closes his eyes, using the Force and the energy around him to heal her. He feels the powerful energy of the Force flowing from his hand into her still body. He feels the life of his body fading slowly as he sees her body coming back to life in his mind. He knew he could bring her back to life, but feeling the rise of her abdomen as she takes her first breath and a cold hand touching his own is still a shock to him.

Ben opens his eyes and looks at her face. Her brown eyes are bright and full of life, her cheeks are pink, and her skin is tan and warm. “Rey.”

“Ben,” she breathes with a smile. She senses the shift in him, knows that he’s abandoned Kylo Ren. He is good, and she is good. She knows together they will restore what is broken. She’s lost in his dark eyes. A thousand questions plague her mind, and she knows he has them, too.

Rey shifts her body, and her lips press against his. Ben is frozen at first. This wasn’t at all what he imagined, but he quickly follows his instincts. His arms snake around her, pulling her body close against his as he deepens their kiss. It’s rushed, messy, and new to both of them. New emotions course through them and their weakened bond. The feelings are overwhelming and warm.

Ben breaks their first kiss, and his forehead rests against hers. Their breathing is heavy and ragged. Rey’s fingers release their grasp on his clothes. She closes her eyes, and then she feels it. His body goes limp against her, and she can feel his life fading away in their bond. 

“No!” she screams as she holds his body in her arms. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. Tears fill her eyes as she holds him. His face is peaceful, and his eyes are closed. “Ben,” she cries, resting her hand over his chest. “Come back to me.” She closes her eyes and calls on the Force like before. “Please, Ben.” She feels the familiar warm energy pass through her hand and flows into him. She feels her body becoming weak and tired, but she won’t give up. Either they die together, or they both live. The rise and fall of his chest causes her to open her eyes.

She can see Ben is breathing, but he hasn’t opened his eyes. He’s barely hanging on. “Thank you,” she whispers, unsure of to who, and she gives his forehead a quick kiss. With all the strength she has, she gets Ben on his feet, and she walks them to his TIE fighter. She does her best to make Ben comfortable as she maneuvers his body in his seat. Ben moans in pain. The healing she provided didn’t do much for his injured leg. She soothes him, brushing the hair out of his face, then she buckles him in, sets his ship on autopilot, and puts in the coordinates for the Resistance’s base.

It isn’t long before she’s in her X-Wing and catching up with Ben’s ship. She manages to send a message to the Falcon. “Lando?”

She hears Finn’s voice immediately. “Rey? Are you okay? Do we need to pick you up?” He’s alert and protective and worried.

“No, Finn. I’m fine,” she half laughs. I’m on my way back to the base, but I need a favor.”

“Anything you need,” Lando replies.

“I need you to inform the other ships to not attack the TIE fighter flying next to me.” 

“Rey, are you crazy?” Finn blurts out, already catching on to Rey’s plan.

“Just trust me,” she pleads. “I’ll explain everything once everyone is back.” Nothing can prepare her for what will happen next.


	2. Day 0, Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and follows to this story so far! I am amazed at how much you all are enjoying this. I am enjoying this, too!
> 
> If you need to vent about the movie, have suggestions, or anything at all, please leave a comment! We all need to heal and cope with the mess JJ Abrams gave us!

As Rey arrives back on Ajan Kloss, she sees several ships still landing on the ground. The green jungle is full of Resistance ships and the Free Worlds Fleet. She sees several people are celebrating outside. Friends are hugging each other. Families that survived are reuniting with each other. Lovers are reuniting and want to begin a new life. The emotions surrounding the base are strong, and she can feel it. Feel their happiness, relief, and peace. When she lands her ship next to Ben’s, Finn is the first one to her. 

His brown eyes are huge at the site of the X-Wing. It’s something he’ll have to ask her about later. “Rey, are you okay?” he asks her again. She’s here, visible and breathing. He’s so happy, but it doesn’t take him long to see the blood on her face and arms. He sees how tired she is. 

“Yes.” Her eyes glance at Finn. There’s a bandage wrapped around his hand. “Are the others okay?” she calls out as she descends from the old X-Wing. 

“They’re good.” He thinks of the others who didn’t make it. “Why did you bring Kylo Ren here?” Finn asks as they make their way to the black TIE Fighter. He’s mostly calm with a little anger in his voice. “What are you thinking?” He glances behind him, and he can see some of the Rebels coming closer. 

She stops to look at him. “Kylo Ren is no more, Finn. Ben turned good, and he helped me defeat the Emperor.” Her mind wanders back to the fight. The Emperor. The Sith followers. Ben. Leia. The Generations of the Jedi. _Be with me._

Finn sees the story written on her face. The way she speaks, the feeling he has deep inside. He believes her, but he’s worried about how everyone else will take the news. “But, Rey—“ 

His voice draws her back to the present. “Right now that’s all that matters. Ben needs medical attention. He might not last long without it.” She starts to walk again, and Finn follows.

He can hear the worry in her voice. “All right. I’ll help you. I’m not sure how many people will recognize him without the mask, so that’s on our side.” 

The door latch of Ben’s ship is already open. She knows how difficult it was to put him in it and hopes it’s easier to get him out. “It won’t matter,” she tells him. She can already feel the alarm and attention the TIE Fighter is receiving. 

“Rey.” It’s a warning, but she already knows.

“What the—“ 

“Poe, not now.” Finn cuts him off. “We need to take Kylo Ren to the medical bay.” 

“He’s Ben Solo,” Rey quickly adds. “He helped me, and he saved my life. I will explain everything else after he’s taken care of.”

“We need to get this man to the medical bay!” Finn shouts as more people arrive.

“What do you need?” Poe asks, though he’s not happy with it. He’s too familiar with returning favors, and he remembers what he learned from General Organa.

“Just help us get him out of the ship. I believe he’s got a broken leg, and I’m not sure what else.”

Poe quickly calls for a ride back to the base, keeping the details minimum. He runs a calloused hand through his disheveled hair. “We’re going to keep this quiet until after the celebrations tonight. I’m not going to create a panic unless it is needed.”

“Thank you, Poe,” Rey breathes and hugs him tightly. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

It’s only a matter of seconds when a medical unit arrives. “Where is he?” a woman asks quickly. 

“He’s in the ship,” Rey says. She sees the fear and hesitation in their eyes. 

“It’s all right.” Poe tries his best to ease their concerns. “The war is over, and we help whoever we can.” 

“Yes, General,” the medial unit replies almost in unison. 

Carefully and slowly they pull Ben out of the TIE Fighter and bring him to the medical bay. The small place is full of wounded pilots, fighters, and passengers from the ships. It’s busy, but Rey can’t ignore the soft sobs and whispers of the patients as she follows after Ben. The medical staff gives him a room of his own. After all, he is in critical condition. She is grateful. She knows Ben will need his privacy in the upcoming days. 

“We have to ask you to leave now,” a dark-haired man informs them. 

“Please keep Rey and I updated with what is going on,” Poe tells him. “Try to keep information limited to other staff members.”

 _Wait,_ she thinks. 

“This is General Organa and Han Solo’s son.”

It’s all happening too fast. She should be there. Be inside the room and know what is going on. _Wait._

“He deserves the best,” she hears Poe say. His hand is on her arm, and she feels him squeeze it lightly. The door to the room closes.

“Rey.” 

“What?” 

“That’s the third time I’ve said your name.” His eyes are watching her, searching for something. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” Her eyes meet his. Her body feels weak, like she cannot move. “Thank you.” She falls, and he catches her.

~*~*~ 

She startles awake. She’s in a bed. It’s cold, and the room is dark. The voices are faint outside the room. People are constantly walking by. Her body hurts all over. She’s felt this pain before after the events on Starkiller Base. Her legs shift, and she gets out of bed. The light automatically flickers on in the room from her movements.

She's back in her own quarters. Everything in her room is the same as she left it before her mission began. As she walks around, she feels the heaviness of the two lightsabers on her belt. She removes each one and lays them side by side on a table. Nothing has changed but at the same time everything has. Grief and relief floods her mind. She’s seen glimpses of the future, but nothing has prepared her for this. 

As she makes her way into the refresher, she stops and stares at herself in the mirror. Her brown hair is a mess. There are scraps and burns along her lower arms. A hint of dark circles are around her eyes. She sees herself as she was on Jakuu. Tired. Longing. Waiting. Wishing. Alone. Lonely. Lonely _again._ She sighs. 

Her hands make their way to her hair, and she takes out the pins and ties holding her hair up. With a shake of her head, her brown locks fall down to her shoulders. She goes to the shower and turns the water on hot. Steam quickly fills the room and fogs the large mirror. She strips and steps into the warmth. 

Water, nearly scalding, cascades down her body. Blood, dirt, sand, and salt leave her hair and body. She washes her hair and body with lavender and lemon soap, a scent she’s favored since being at the base. The mixed senses are calming and rejuvenating at once. It clears her mind and senses, and she finally feels like she can breathe again. 

She is safe. _Ben_ is safe. She finished what Master Skywalker started. She helped redeem Ben Solo. She found out her parentage, though dark and gruesome. The balance in the Force is restored. The galaxy can be at peace. Her friends and family are safe. 

_Family._ Her emotions crashes down on her like ocean waves. Tears start to roll down her face. Her hands rest on the shower head wall to keep herself up as sobs rack through her body. Every breath and sniffle hurts her lungs. She still doesn’t know who her mother and father are besides being the ones who tried to protect her from her grandfather, the Emperor, being dead, and being a Palpatine. The word stings her heart. 

She doesn’t know how to cope. Not like this. The first person she lost in her life was Han Solo, almost a father to her. Then, Luke and Leia. _Guide me. Help me,_ she thinks. 

She tries to control her breathing. She wipes the snot from her nose and washes her face. Her lungs and ribs still ache from the fight and her sobs. 

Deciding she’s been in there long enough, Rey shuts the water off. She grabs a towel and dries off. She goes to her small closet for a fresh set of attire and decides on a similar outfit like she wore earlier. As she dresses, she notices the color gray. She didn’t intend to, but she thinks it is fitting. Her hair is kept down, and she leaves the lightsabers where they are. 

Taking a deep breath, she opens her door. Several people are still coming and going in the hallway. She hears _celebration, bone fire,_ and _ceremony_ amongst the voices.

“Rey!” It’s Finn. He runs up to her and pulls her into a tight hug. 

“Hey,” she says, returning the hug. He’s warm and comforting and _family._

“I’m glad you’re awake,” he says, pulling away slightly and smiling at her.

“What’s going on?” 

“There’s a huge celebration going on outside. I didn’t want you to miss it.” He’s happy to see there’s some life back in her features. “I know you’d want to see Ben first. I hear he’s still sleeping. 

“Oh.” She wonders why she didn’t get an update. “How long have I been out?” She’s worried. 

“Not long. Just a few hours.” Finn pauses, and there’s a hint of uneasiness in his voice. “We can go see him, if you want.”

She searches out and feels their connection getting stronger.

“...Or you don’t have to go to the celebration—“

“No, it’s okay.” There’s a small smile on her lips. “Let’s go.”


	3. Day 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, everyone! I hope you all had a lovely holiday. If holidays aren’t your thing, I hope your last few days have been well!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has commented so far! You all are the greatest! Thank you for cheering me on. I’m overjoyed!

It’s late in the afternoon when she wakes up in Ben’s medical room. She lifts her head off the side of his bed. Her hand mindlessly touches the back of her neck, which aches from the position it was in all night. Lazy eyes search for a sign on the monitors hooked up to Ben. There isn’t a change.

There’s a light knock on the door, then it opens. “Good morning, Rey,” a redhead says as she enters the room. The woman is dressed in green attire with her red hair pulled away from her face and kept in a clean bun.

“Good morning,” Rey replies. She straightens up in her chair and ignores the ache in her ribs and back. “How is he?” she asks, pulling the white blanket tighter around her body.

The woman looks at the monitors and writes a few notes, then she looks at Rey. “Mister Solo is doing well.” She smiles at the girl. “I tried to find you earlier to give you an update. One of the pilots told me I could find you here.” Her green eyes catch a faint blush on Rey’s cheeks. “He did have a broken leg, but the fracture was small. His ankle was broken. After we reset the bones and stabilized his ankle, his condition improved tremendously. Because he sustained some life-threatening injuries to his chest and back, we put him in a flexpoly bacta suit in order to help progress his healing. The suit will help heal the scratches and bruises he sustained during the fight as well.”

Rey nods her understanding. She’s too familiar with a bacta suit, and she remembers how quickly Finn recovered when he was in one. “Why hasn’t he woken up?” she asks, slightly confused.

“We sedated him to make him more comfortable in the healing process. It should wear off sometime tomorrow.” The medic sees the concern on Rey’s face. “This is a normal process,” she tells her as she tries to ease Rey’s concern. “Once he awakens, he’ll have to spend one more day under observation. After that, he’ll be good to go.”

“Thank you,” Rey says.

“Dr. Harter Kalonia will provide you with another update in a few hours. If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know,” the medic says before leaving the room.

 _So that explains why I feel our bond strengthening,_ she thinks. Rey stands with the blanket still secured around her. Her left hand is free from the blanket, and she brushes Ben’s ebon hair from his eyes. His hair is soft and his skin is smooth against her fingers. His facial features are soft and peaceful, much like on Exegol, but there is life flowing through him. She wonders if she should heal him again and awaken him or if she should let nature run its course.

 _Would you want that?_ She doesn’t know.

 _Would I want that if I were you?_ She shakes her head.

They’ve both been through so much. Damage is done on both sides. _Give it time,_ she hears someone murmur within the Force. _Time,_ she thinks, _Do we really have it?_

There’s a soft knock on the door before it opens. It’s Finn.

“Hey,” he whispers, poking his head inside the room.

“Hey,” she whispers back. She folds the blanket and places it on the chair.

He catches a glimpse of Ren - _Ben_ \- and sees the similar flexpoly bacta suit he was in a little over a year ago. His level of concern almost matches hers concerning Ben. He doesn’t understand it, this feeling deep in his heart, but he has no anger towards the man laying in the bed. “How is he?”

“Ben is doing well. He should be awake tomorrow.” She frowns, and her brown brows almost meet together. “I didn’t realize the full extent of his injuries. I should have healed him more before we left.”

He’s lost, but he remembers how she healed the vexis snake on Pasaana. “How is that even possible?”

“Leia told me about it a few months back, but I never practiced.”

“What you did saved Ben. Who knows what would have happened if you gave too much.”

She hears the protectiveness in his voice. “I know,” she says, remembering Exegol. She would have risked her life to save his like he did for her.

He can tell she’s getting lost in her thoughts. “I wanted to see if you wanted to get some dinner. They’re starting to set everything out. I figured we could sneak before the rush.”

Rey smiles. “That sounds great. I am hungry.”

They head to the cafeteria together. As they pass by, they are greeted with hellos and praises. The medbay hallways are busy with people wanting to check on friends and loved ones. Other hallways have people standing around with their belongings packed, droids walking about, and friends gathered together. Most people are getting ready to leave to head back to their home planet.

Once they reach the cafeteria, the place is already a buz, but there isn’t a line. People are scattered about at different tables, conversing with others or waiting for others to join them for dinner. The cafeteria is warm inside, and different appetizing senses of different soups fill the air. They take a tray, take some food, and find a two-seated table to sit at.

They eat most of their meals in silence, but it’s mostly Finn who doesn’t talk. He isn’t sure when Rey last ate. So many thoughts are racking his brain. There’s so much to tell her, to talk about, though he doesn’t know how to begin. He figures now is a good a chance as any. “Rey, about what I wanted to tell you on Pasa—“

“I’m going to train you the ways of the Force,” she tells him.

“Wait.” He is almost in shock. It surprises him how she can tell.

“I know your force sensitive, and I have felt it. I never really thought about it before, and I’m sorry.” She sets down her spoon and looks at him, really looks at him. ”I’m not the last Jedi, and you can learn to become one.” She is positive. Certain. “I can’t give you much right now, but we’ll start slow.”

Finn is beaming. He thought it would be harder to have to convince her. “I, uh, thank you, Rey,” he says, unsure of what to say exactly. “I am good with slow,” he confirms for the heck of it, because all of this is new. He has no idea where this will go. “Will I get to see Luke Skywalker, or the other Jedi? When can I—” Rey laughs, and it’s music to Finn’s ears.

“Slow,” she repeats. “You have a lot of training to do before you get to that point.”

“Do you have room for three more?” It’s Poe.

“Of course,” Finn says.

“Always,” Rey adds.

Poe slides a nearby table over. The screeches are loud, but it doesn’t disrupt the life in the cafeteria. “Rose and Chewie will be here in a second,” he tells them.

A moment later, Rose and Chewie arrive. Rey is happy as family and familiarity fills her soul.


	4. Day 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I’m sorry for the delay, but here’s the next installment. I hope you enjoy it! Next one will be up tomorrow!

“Has Ben woken up yet?” Finn asks her once Poe enters the _Falcon_ again. He’s walking towards them with plates of food, cups, and a bottle of Corellian liquor under his arm. 

There’s another celebration happening tonight, but neither of them wants to participate in it. They’ve been hiding in the ship for hours. It’s provided enough privacy for them. The lights are half-lit, and there’s enough celebrating going around that they shouldn’t be missed. If anyone is looking for them, Bebe is supposed to come to them. 

“Not yet,” Rey tells him. She frowns, and her eyebrows knit together. She’s sitting next to him on the floor with her chin resting on her knees.

“He will,” Finn says, and he almost sounds certain. His feelings tell him so. 

“Thank you for the food.” Rey takes an offered plate from Poe and so does Finn. 

“There’s been talk about having a ceremony for General Leia soon,” Poe tells them as he sits down next to Finn. He pours the Corellian liquor in three cups and passes them out. “We all personally knew her, but we want to give others the opportunity to mourn and celebrate her.” He tries not to sound sad. General Leia was like a second mother to him. “They wanted to hold it tonight, but my final decision was to wait until Ben is awake.” The idea of Ben Solo walking around still makes him uneasy. He can’t forget what was done to him after he was captured on Jakuu over a year ago or others. “She was his mother,” he adds. “One more night of celebration won’t hurt anybody.”

“Thank you, Poe,” Rey says, gratefully. “I know he will like that.” She can only hope. She takes a sip from her cup, and the liquor is sweet on her lips. “I don’t know what’s going to happen once he wakes up,” she whispers, her brown eyes looking up at them both. “I keep going over it in my mind. I don’t know if I made the right choice.” _Is he going to be happy? Mad? Will he want to leave?_

Finn drops the grape he was about to put in his mouth, and Poe looks at him, his co-general. He doesn’t know what to say, but this is something that has been brought to his attention numerous times. He knows Finn understands what being a Jedi means more than he does, but he’s slowly learning. He grew up with the stories of Luke Skywalker, and he knows Luke redeemed Darth Vader, _Anakin Skywalker,_ but it is hard to simply forgive and forget the terror Kylo Ren, his Knights, and the First Order inflicted in one day. “It’s not going to be easy,” Poe finally says. 

“I know how hard it was to leave the First Order, and the unknown and wondering where do I go from here is scary,” Finn adds. “It’s difficult, but if his heart is in the right place like you say it is, Rey, I will stand by you both.” 

Poe runs a hand through his hair. “I can’t make that same promise yet, but I will try to make things easier for him.” He finishes off his drink and refills his cup.

Rey shakes her head. There’s a lot of rebuilding to be done on both sides. 

“There are rumors going around that Ben Solo is Kylo Ren,” Poe continues. “It is the truth, but it isn’t a known fact by everyone. The old TIE fighter is making people concerned. The forty of us that remain here know what Leia would have wanted, but some want to put him on trial and lock him away for good.” 

“Can they do that?” Rey asks as she sets her plate down on the floor. 

“They can, but I’m sure it won’t lead to that. They need time just like we all do, but they need to hear Ben is good. No one knows what to do.” _I don’t know what to do._ There’s too many decisions he has to make. 

“I don’t know what to do, either,” Finn admits quietly. “I’ve never had this much freedom. I mean,” he pauses and looks at his friends, “now it’s like a whole other world out there.” 

“Now we have time to do the things we wanted,” Poe says. “There’s so many things I dreamed about doing once this war was over. Go back to Yavin 4 and see my family.” He sighs. “Maybe you both can meet them. It’s been way too long.” 

“I would like that,” Finn responds, and he’s smiling. This is the kind of stuff he’s dreamed about doing. “I always wanted to travel.”

She doesn’t know what she’ll do. There’s too many thoughts running through her mind. Ben, being a Jedi, training the new era of Jedi, and mending the galaxy. It’s almost too much. 

“Rey,” Finn calls, drawing her back. He lightly knocks his leg against hers. “We’ll figure it out like we always do. Right now, I think we need to relax and enjoy the peace we’ve got.” 

“My thoughts exactly! Drink up!” Poe says excitedly. 

“Poe!” Rey says, and she’s already starting to feel fuzzy from her drink. 

“There’s more where this came from,” Poe says excitedly. 

After more rounds of drinks and laughter on the _Falcon,_ the trio of friends make their way back to the base. The celebration is winding down, and the once large bonfire is now small with shorter flames dancing around. Some members of the Resistance and the Free World Fleet are scattered about, sleeping or conversing with others beneath the clear night sky. 

While Finn and Poe make it to their own quarters, Rey makes her way to the medbay to see Ben. When she enters his room, the lights are still half lit. He’s no longer in the flexpoly bacta suit. He’s dressed in tan, and the white blanket comes up to his waist. His hands rest above the blanket. There’s only two machines attached to him now. She wonders if he already woken, or if they decided to change him themselves to make him more comfortable. 

She walks over to her chair. The white blanket is still there with an extra one laying on top of it. She scoots her chair closer to the bed, then she wraps herself in a blanket and sits down. She sprawls the other blanket on her lap. The last thoughts she has is of Ben and what will come tomorrow before everything goes dark.


	5. Day 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to thank everyone who is following this story so far. Your comments, kudos, bookmarks, and subscriptions to this story mean so much to me! I'm overwhelmed with the response, and I am glad we are on this journey! Here's to several chapters in the future! 
> 
> Now, here's what you've waited for!

_Rey._

_Rey._ There’s a light tingle in her mind. 

“Rey.” She hears her name again and feels something touching her brown hair. Her hand lazily finds its way to her head, and she feels a warm finger moving. Her head shoots up immediately from the side of Ben’s bed, and her eyes are wide, tired. “Ben!” she says a little too loudly, and he winces. Her hand grasps his a little too hard. Her brain is still cloudy from the drinks she had hours ago. 

“Hey,” he rasps out with a light smile. His lips are chapped, and his mouth is dry. He is wide awake and very much alive. Ben doesn’t understand why. “Why did—“ 

“Here.” She’s up in an instant, her cold hand leaving his warm one. She pours him a cup of water, and gives it to him. 

His hands are shaky and weak. He brings the cup to his lips, and he drinks. The cool water feels good against his throat, and he suddenly needs more, downing the rest of the contents. Rey half-smiles and carefully pours more in his cup. She sits back down in her chair, seeing he doesn’t require help to drink. When he’s had enough, she sets his cup on the table beside her. 

He’s silent, unsure of what to say and what to ask. His brown eyes glance around the room, finally taking in his surroundings. The room is much different compared to what a med room on those ships. It’s comforting. He’s grateful most of the lights are off and that there aren’t windows in the room he’s in. The white blanket is scratchy against his legs. He’s in a white gown, and it’s so much different than black. His eyes meet hers. “Where are we?” he finally asks, and it’s difficult. It’s a different question than what he was asking mere seconds ago, but he wants to know where he _is._

She’s nervous and worried. She’s sure he feels it. “We’re on Ajan Kloss, an old Rebel base. I—“ she stammers. She doesn’t know what to tell him, if he’s ready to hear everything that happened yet. “I didn’t know where to go after what happened. We were both injured, and Exegol wasn’t stable.”

“I shouldn’t be here,” he tells her like it’s a well-known fact. He isn’t panicked, but he isn’t ready to face people who he’s inflicted pain on for endless years either. 

“Of course you should be here,” she replies. “You helped me defeat Emperor Palpatine and stop the Final Order. You saved me. You gave me so much —“ _I would have died to save you, too, but I need you._ She almost misses his face faltering, knowing he hears that. This isn’t what she thought would happen. She thought he would be happy, relieved, something. 

“Why?” he asks, and this time he can’t stop himself. He needs to know. He looks at her, searching for something in her warm brown eyes. Their connection is strong. They shared a kiss. He is good, but that doesn’t mean he should be forgiven for the horrible things he’s done, even if he was manipulated by Emperor Palpatine throughout half of his life. He hurt his family. He hurt his family’s friends. He hurt her. He hurt her friends and so many more. He still did those things because he needed to. “Why did you bring me back?”

She’s at a loss for words, and she picks up on some of his thoughts. “It’s no different than why you brought me back,” she says quickly, but she is frustrated. _What do you say to someone you’ve brought back from the dead?_ She meets his gaze. “You deserve to live a better life than what you had. You turned back to the light. You saved me, and I wanted to save you, too.” 

She studies the bed, but his eyes don’t leave her. They are both silent for a long time. 

“I don’t want live without you,” she finally whispers as her eyes meet his again. Her cheeks turn pink at her own confession. “I can’t explain it.” She feels she will melt into the chair with the way he’s suddenly looking at her like she’s the only person in the galaxy. 

“I know,” he says, his voice soft and understanding. “That’s why I healed you, but I knew I wouldn’t last.” 

“Ben,” she whispers. Their bond is getting stronger, and she can _feel_ him. “Everything is going to be okay.” 

He barely feels it, the okay part, but he does trust her. “How long have I been out?” His whole body feels stiff and tired. He wants to get out of the bed and walk around somewhere. He _has_ to get out of this room. 

“Three days, mostly.” The blanket on her shoulders falls down her arms. “You were hurt badly. Your ankle and leg were broken, and there were a lot of scratches. The medics put you in a bacta suit to help you recover.”

The news doesn’t surprise him. He remembers how bad his right leg and foot hurt when he ran to her side in the throne room on Exegol. He remembers the blood on her face and her lifeless body. He remembers everything and almost shudders. “How are you?” He notices she’s dressed in gray and her hair is down. Her arms are bare.

“I’m good,” she answers. Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes.

He can feel the _sadness_ and _hurt_ and _loneliness_ in her soul mixed with _relief _and something close to _warmth_ because of him. “Rey,” he whispers as he laces his fingers with her. He gently pulls her hand, causing her to stand up next to his bed, and he presses a soft kiss on her knuckles. “I will do my best to stay here with you. I’m not afraid to face everyone here or my consequences for the actions of myself and the First Order. I know what I did was wrong.” __

__“Things will get better with time,” she tells him as she lingers at his bedside. “There is something you should know. The base is wanting to have a funeral for your mother.”_ _

__“When will they have it?”_ _

__“I’m not sure. Maybe tomorrow now that you’re awake. Poe decided to wait for you to be better so that you can attend it.”_ _

__Ben’s heart aches in his chest as memories of his childhood flood his mind. The pilot - Poe - was a childhood friend of his before he trained with Luke. Now he wonders what he really thinks of him. Then, his mother. She was always at his side when he was younger, more kinder. She sacrificed herself for him to turn back to the light. His brown eyes sting. “That will be nice. I will have to thank him . . . or you can for me.”_ _

__“I will. When you feel it is right, you should, too.” Rey frees her hand from his. She gazes at him as her fingers brush his ebon hair from the right side of his face. The scar from his wounds are gone on, and she wonders if it’s the same for his neck and chest. Her faces warms at the thought. As she moves her hand away, her fingers graze his chin, and his fingers catch her elbow and forearm._ _

__“You’re tired,” he whispers, and he is, too._ _

__“It will be morning soon,” she replies. Goosebumps are forming on her arms as his fingers slide down to her wrist. “I will come back in a few hours.”_ _

___Stay with me,_ he wants to say but doesn’t. His hand releases her, and he thinks it’s probably for the best. He watches her fold the blanket and lay it on her chair. _ _

__“Soon,” she says with a tired smile, then she’s out the door._ _


	6. Day 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I am so sorry for this very late update. College started up, but now my schedule is under control with this crazy Coronavirus. I hope everyone is staying safe and are in good health!   
> Enjoy! It's mostly about Ben, and it's a longer one.

Ben is restless, staring up at the ceiling in the dark. After Rey left, he slept the majority of the day away. He isn’t sure if she came back to his room or not. He didn’t expect to sleep the entire day, though he needs the rest. The room is still dark, and he can hear and feel members of the Resistance walking in the halls. He knows it’s evening, but he doesn’t know how late it is. Thoughts of wondering if it’s too early to wander around the base plague his mind. He doesn’t know how everyone will react. He’ll have to ask Rey. 

She mentioned there would be a funeral with his mother and hopes he can attend. He doesn’t know how he should feel or how he should react to his mother’s passing. He felt it on Kef Bir, and he thought he’d die with her. But Rey healed him. If Rey left him there, this base would be destroyed. Thousands of people could be dead. Rey could have joined Palpatine, or she could have died, too. He doesn’t know how to make sense of it all. 

A knock at the door pulls him from his thoughts, and Dr. Kalonia enters the room. “Good evening, Mister Solo. I’m glad to see you are awake. How are you feeling?” 

“Fine,” he tells her, though his head aches, and his heart hurts. He misses his mother. His father. Uncle Luke. Ben’s soul is heavy, but he doesn’t feel anger. 

Dr. Kalonia smiles. “No pain or discomfort?” she asks, walking over to the bed. 

“No.” His voice is still raspy but better than yesterday. 

“Good.” She glimpses over the machines and writes down notes. “I am sure you are wanting to get out of this room. Normally we would have you remain under observation through the night to ensure you are back to normal, but I believe you have fully recovered. You are free to do as you please.” She turns off the machines at his bedside. “I only ask that you still listen to your body and rest. You have been through a great deal, Mister Solo.”

“Thank you, Dr. Kalonia.”

“You’re welcome,” she says with a gentle smile. “You are welcome to use this room as your sleeping quarters until you find a new place to board. Take as long as you need. When you leave during the day, let one of us know, and we will add a few items in the room to make it more welcoming for you.” 

“I can’t thank you enough,” he says, knowing he doesn’t deserve all the kindness he receives. “I know it hasn’t been _great_ recently, but I appreciate what you are doing for me.” 

“You are welcome. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.”

“I will. Thank you again,” he tells her. 

A minute after Dr. Kalonia leaves his med room, Ben lets out a breath of air. A wave of relief washes over him. He feels there is a lot he needs to do, but at the same time, he isn't sure what it is. 

As he shifts his legs off the bed, he is wary of putting weight on his right leg and ankle, remembering the excruciating pain he felt just days ago. Taking a deep breath, he gets off the bed and takes two steps forward. Though he should know better, he is surprised there is no pain. His body is stiff from being in bed, but he feels fine. 

Ben decides his first action should be to shower. As he makes his way to the cabinets on the other side of the room, walking becomes easier on his stiff muscles. He finds a clean set of clothing colored in dark green. After taking the clothes, he makes his way to the small refresher in the room. He turns on the water, discards his clothes, and steps into the water. 

The warm water feels good against his achy body. He is surprised when the water doesn’t turn dark or bloody but clear instead. The battle on Exegol was rough. He isn’t used to these accommodations, having people looking after him, having nice things, being cared for. The First Order was harsh and unforgiving. He isn’t used to being alive and being on the winning side. 

As Ben lathers his body, the fresh-scented soap intoxicates his senses. He’s never smelled this soap before, and he likes it. It’s another new thing to him, and he can’t help but wonder what other new things he will experience now. He still  
isn’t used to being alive and being on the winning side. 

After his shower ends, he dries off and wraps the towel around his waist. His brown eyes catch his reflection in the mirror, causing him to stop and stare at himself. As he ran his hand through his damp hair, he let out a sigh and leaned against the counter, looking into the eyes of a man he doesn't recognize. He doesn’t remember the last time he saw his face and body. The familiar scars on the right side of his face, neck, and chest are gone. As he looked down at his right leg, he noticed there weren’t scars or stitches. There wasn’t a sign of his wound he got from Rey on Kef Bir either. He is completely healed, yet he feels so broken inside. 

Sighing again, he pushed off the counter and shook his head. While he begins to dress, he hears a knock on the door. Ben grabs the shirt and leaves the fresher. There is another knock on the door before it cracks open. A head of brown hair peaks in and a faint smile appears on Ben’s lips at the sight of Rey holding a tray. 

“Hey. You’re awake!” Rey feels her cheeks warm as she catches him put on a green shirt. She adverts her eyes quickly, giving him privacy. “I’m sorry. Is now a good time? I should have waited for you to answer the door,” she rambles. 

“Yeah,” Ben half laughs. He can already smell the food she brought with her. “It’s fine.” 

“I brought you something to eat,” she tells him, though the food is already visible.

“Thank you, Rey.” He watches the way she moves, and he can tell that she is nervous. “Here,” he says as his hands reach out to take the tray. He places it on the bed table. The smell of the unfamiliar broth makes his stomach ache and mouth water. “Did you eat?” 

“I did before I came here,” Rey says. “I came by a couple of times today, but you were sleeping. I didn’t want to wake you.” She watches him sit on the bed and pick at a roll. He looks different but the same. The dark green clothing brings out his eyes. 

“I got cleared a while ago, so I’m no longer confined here unless there’s a trial,” he says too honestly. 

“A trial?” Rey starts, but he’s quick to interrupt her. 

“It’s buzzing around the base, Rey. I wish you told me that yesterday.”

A frown tugs at her lips. “I didn’t want that to worry you. I was hoping we would discuss it after the funeral for your mother.”

Emotions hit him like waves. She saved him. He felt it, but she’s still gone. “When is it?”

“Tomorrow or the day after.”

“I want it tomorrow,” he says, voice quiet. 

“I’ll tell Poe, and we’ll arrange it.”

“You could find him and bring him here,” Ben says. 

“Really?”

“Yes,” he replies with a sad smile. “Go find him, and I’ll finish eating.”

“Okay. I’ll be back soon,” Rey says before she leaves. 

After Rey leaves, he barely finishes his food. Thoughts of his family fill him with grief and sadness and happiness and peacefulness. He doesn’t know what to say or do, though he thinks beginning with his family is a good start. 

When Rey shows up with Poe, Ben finally feels ready. As Poe begins to speak, he doesn’t show disdain or resentment toward Ben. He shows nothing but kindness and understanding for the man as they discuss plans for his mother, General Leia Organa.


End file.
